Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Daily Outfit: Cropped

Cropped

This past weekend, I went to Rooster Teeth Expo for my third year in a row! I don't usually cosplay at this convention - I don't have anything that would fit the genre - so instead I photographed other cosplayers and cute street style. I wanted to wear something cute that would still allow me to roam around the con floor and photograph things easily.

I want to be totally honest with you - wearing an outfit with a crop top, with shorts, as a chubby woman, is totally intimidating. It's not because I'm not confident in my body (even though it's a struggle sometimes) - it's because everyone else assumes that I'm not happy with the body I have. Let me explain...

Cropped

Almost every time I refer to myself as "chubby," people think it means I think my body is unsatisfactory, but to me, it's just a description. Part of the issue, I think, is that our culture attaches a value to these words. Fitting the ideal is good, existing outside of it is bad. Words like "chubby" or "fat" usually include the connotation of that person having less worth (or self-control, or attractiveness)... but when you believe every body is a good body, then these words lose that connotation.

People always say, "You're not chubby!" But that's just not true. I'm firmly in the "overweight" category of BMI (even though BMI is outdated and incorrect) and I'm definitely not "skinny" or "curvy." I'm on the edge of straight sizing and plus sizing. It's not a debatable fact - chubby is an apt description for my body.

Cropped

What people really mean when they object to my usage of the word "chubby" is that I'm a valuable person, and that realization is a little heartbreaking. Being chubby and having value as a person are not mutually exclusive, but the way bodies are presented in our culture, it can often seem like the two are at odds with each other.

No, the intimidating part is not my confidence level. It's not that others might see my not-flat stomach, or my rockin' thunder thighs, but rather that they assume I should be embarrassed by my body. I've been told, to my face, that my legs are too pale to wear skirts, that I'm too chubby to wear dresses, that I should never wear shorts.

But at my core, I believe that anyone should wear whatever they want. I believe that dressing in a "flattering" way means concealing parts of your body that others deem less than perfect - and that sometimes, that's not the way you want to dress. And when it comes down to it, I dress for me, not for other people - so I'm going to wear what I want.

Cropped

Outfit Details
Cardigan: ModCloth | Crop Top: Forever 21 | Shorts: ModCloth
Boots: ModCloth | Necklace: Gift from Peony | Purse: Ebay (Similar)

Do you ever wear clothing you're not "supposed" to wear?


Comments (41)

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This post made me want to cry and hug you. Agree so hard - chubby isn't bad, it's a word and it also means more to love! PS: Love using the phrase thunder thighs to describe mine haha!
1 reply · active 563 weeks ago
I was just thinking about the same thing the other day, about the fact that "chubby" or "fat" has become something automatically negative rather than descriptive. I agree wholeheartedly with everything you said. And you look gorgeous by the way! Just yesterday I bought new shorts and challenged myself to wear them without caring what people will think of me, so this post was definitely inspiring!
1 reply · active 563 weeks ago
I hate that every time I say "I'm fat" someone feels the need to follow it up with a qualifier like "but you carry it well". I appreciate that someone wants to make sure that I feel valuable but fat isn't bad. It doesn't stop me from loving or living or doing what I want. Proud of you for that crop top though! I just got my first one too! And I got my fatkini!
1 reply · active 563 weeks ago
Yes yes and yes. I love this and I love your outfit! It's so cute. It's hard to stop caring what people are thinking even when you're secure in yourself. Keep wearing what you want and doing what you want and forget the rest! Btw you're really pretty and look great!
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1 reply · active 563 weeks ago
I totally agree and think about this all the time!

I'm definitely chubby, and people are SO quick to say things like, "oh nooo, you're not that chubby," or "well I think you look great!" Um? When did I say, "I don't like how I look?" I can look great AND be chubby and that's exactly what I'm doing. I appreciate that they see me as an attractive person, and I know they (and everyone, including myself) have been socialized to think fat is bad, but it needs to stop.

You can be healthy at nearly any weight, so what needs to change is not HOW people look, but how people think about weight. It needs to just be an adjective and not such a loaded word. Fat is fat.

Elyse @ Cuddly as a Cactus
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1 reply · active 563 weeks ago
This so much. One of my nephews-- bless his sweet little heart-- says that to me. Because I am such an important person to him and because he's been taught his whole life that "fat" is a bad thing. Society says it means you're ugly, his friends say it means you're worthless, my sister says it means you're unhealthy. In his mind I'm none of these things so I shouldn't call myself fat. And I have to correct him every time and tell him that yes, I am pretty, valuable, and healthy, but I'm also fat and there is nothing wrong with being fat. I think he's getting there but it's kind of disappointing to have to have this conversation.

Also! That outfit is hella cute!
1 reply · active 563 weeks ago
Thank you so much for saying this. I've had similar thoughts lately now that I finally got over myself and am rocking the short shorts for the first time in years. I don't care if I have a big butt, mean I have more to shake, but I definitely worried that others would judge me for my choices.
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1 reply · active 563 weeks ago
Thank you for sharing this!! I've been thinking about this topic for a long time and I think I've decided to genuinely stop caring about what other people think of me and start doing things for myself more because I know I'm comfortable with myself and if others aren't comfortable with how I look (and feel), that's their problem, not mine :)
This outfit is fabulous and you're awesome and if people can't handle it, it's their loss!
xoxo
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1 reply · active 563 weeks ago
You look incredible. I could never wear a crop top. I couldn't show my bell when dressed as Rufio. Seeing hoe great you look makes me want to wear them even more.
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1 reply · active 563 weeks ago
Love crop tops! They are so cute! I also have that cat face bag too, I love it!!
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1 reply · active 563 weeks ago
Oh, so well said and although I'm a little more self - conscious, I agree with every bit of your post. :)
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1 reply · active 563 weeks ago
You look so cute! Love crop tops <3

Besides people automatically thinking it's bad, I'm sure they aren't used to many being openly comfortable/confident/happy with their body. I have a few friends that call themselves chubby or fat then if you don't say anything .. it's like a trap. I'm sure that's one reason why people think they HAVE to say "oh, you aren't fat!"

I have always been into body positivity and don't see those words as negative. It sucks when friends in your circle don't think the same way and feel they have to overpower everyone with their opinion. 💤

I think healthy can come in any size. Obviously judging how someone lives their life based on what you see is pretty silly.

I always thought crop tops weren't for me because of my bust and I have a beer belly xD I just did it anyways.
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1 reply · active 563 weeks ago
Absolutely fantastic! I have had so many discussions similar to this with friends of mine that say I'm not fat. It makes me laugh. I'm plus sized. I know what I look like. I am by definition obese. But I don't let it stop me from living my life the way I feel comfortable living it and I certainly don't let other peoples opinions bring me down. Everyone has their "down" days of course but for the most part, I just let it be who I am and I don't take those words as an insult.
1 reply · active 563 weeks ago
Fantastic outift and I really admire your confidence! :D
You rock what you wanna girl :D
1 reply · active 563 weeks ago
I love your outfit! I totally agree with what you said. I ran into this issue last week with my sister. She thought I should not wear a bikini because I wasn't "skinny" any more since having a baby...I bought it anyway. I get made fun of by strangers for being pale all the time. I think it's strange that someone would pick on me because I'm not tan. I love all your body positive posts! You totally inspire me :)
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1 reply · active 563 weeks ago
I really want to give you a hug right now. This post is amazing (do you mind if I link back to it?). You look amazing in your outfit, and all your cosplays! I strive to be as comfortable with myself some day as you are with yours - thanks for being a source of inspiration!
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1 reply · active 563 weeks ago
I'm jealous you went to RTX, but I hope you had a great time- you certainly looked great! I love and agree with everything said here. While I myself have been naturally fairly thin, I have always had a number of close people in my life who were overweight and always tried to remind them that words like "fat" or "chubby" are not inherently bad. We're so used to them meaning something ugly or gross, when in fact they are just adjectives. I'm glad you want to remove the negative connotation, while embracing self-confidence as well.. its very inspiring <3
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1 reply · active 563 weeks ago
I'm so glad this turned into so much more than a regular outfit post! Absolutely love the sentiment and the outfit.
1 reply · active 563 weeks ago
Yes. You've put in to words what has been in my brain for so long! You're outfit is hella cute and you look amazing in it.

hellocynicalbadger.blogspot.co.uk
1 reply · active 563 weeks ago
This: "What people really mean when they object to my usage of the word "chubby" is that I'm a valuable person, and that realization is a little heartbreaking. Being chubby and having value as a person are not mutually exclusive, but the way bodies are presented in our culture, it can often seem like the two are at odds with each other."

**hugs**

I HATE. HATE HATE that we have labeled someone that looks healthy as looking thin only.

I know so many people who are HEALTHY but "plus size".

It's like we forget that we're not fucking clones!

You're outfit looks awesome, and you are fierce!!!
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